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Submitted by Alondra from New Bedford Massachusetts USA
Date: Mon Jul 9 19:10:34 2001
Dear AJ, I hope and pray that you will get better REALLY soon!!! When I first found out online (actually, I was in the chatroom here at Backstreet.net) that my July 10th show was cancelled as well as many others,I couldn't believe it. I thought it was because Nick had hurt his hand (I saw in the Red Sox pic here at Backstreet.net that Nick's hand was wrapped.) I began to cry as I found out at FleetCenter.com that my show WAS in fact cancelled. Immediately, I thought to my selfish self, why are they postponing shows just cuz Nick's hurt??? Now that I look back on it, I'm horrified at how I responded to the news of the cancellations. Even if Nick DID hurt his hand (I only thought he hurt it until I watched TRL and found out it was broken), that doesn't give me the right to question and be upset over why they cancelled shows, specifically my show. Even though I've been waiting for more than 3 years to see them, I shoulda NEVER EVER acted in that way. I'm still ashamed over how I acted cuz I love the guys to death and would never want them to perform a show in which they would injured. I guess I lost that thought when I first found out. Anyways, I couldn't find out why the shows were being cancelled online so I decided to tune in to TRL since they always get the breaking news about artists first. I watched TRL and FINALLY, they showed BSB and John Norris. The camera kinda slid from right to left and moved to John Norris, then Kevin, and so on. When the camera stopped moving, I immediately noticed that AJ wasn't there. Of course, I thought the worst which was that AJ had died. Then the guys told us the news and they were so sad, the saddest I've ever seen them. Everyone in the audience, even people who you could tell were far from being BSB fans, were sad and some were even crying. I immediately began to cry and I'm not a person who usually cries. Everything was going so well for them this year except for AJ's grandmother's death. I'm still in shock at what the guys of BSB told us fans even though I'm really not that surprised. I'm surprised but I'm also not. It's a weird feeling. I'm not surprised that this happened cuz I read in a Rolling Stones interview with AJ about his problems with depression and alcohol sometime last year(I don't rememeber when. Probably between October and December of 2000 but I could be way off. You guys probably know which one I'm talking about.) That was the first time I found out about his drinking problem and his problem with depression. Then when the guys announced it, I was surprised cuz I thought everything was going well for them. That song AJ wrote and sang finally made me realize what he was going through. I'm scared to death that AJ may leave the group to "find himself" like his song said.On some website (maybe even this one), I read about some psychic who predicted that 2 members would leave, one due to illness and I forgot why the other one would leave. The psychic's prediction is hitting a lil too close to home. That's what I'm most worried about. I know I shouldn't have anything to fear but I still wish I hadn't read that psychic's predictions. I'm still wicked sad about it and probably will be for a long while but I truly and honestly hope that this situation will make all of the guys and their fans much stronger. I know he'll never read this but I just wanted to get my feelings off my chest by typing this. Thanks for listening everyone and keep AJ in your prayers. He's had a tough life and I hope this whole ordeal gets him on his way to a happier and more enjoyable one.
Submitted by Erin from Philly PA USA
Date: Mon Jul 9 19:10:18 2001
AJ, I hope you will get better asap. It takes alot to admit that you need help with your problem. I'm glad that you spoke up before something worse happened. Get well soon! Your fans love you! Always remember that!
Submitted by Darlene from Mt. Holly New Jersey USA
Date: Mon Jul 9 19:10:01 2001
A.J- all of us fan love you and support you with this. We pray that you get better soon. I know that if this is what you need then I am happy that you are getting it. I trust your judgement. All us fans will be here for you when you get out. You have been here in spirt for me and everyone always so we are here in spirt for you also. I would never ever let you go through it alone. Look to Jesus! Get better boy. I love Ya
Submitted by Samantha from USA
Date: Mon Jul 9 19:09:34 2001
A.J
*I really don't know what to say I am so proud of you for taken a big step, there is not may people that will admit when they have a problem. I'm so happy you took this step b4 things got any worst.
*A.J you will be in my prayers....I Love You so much* I hope this makes sense.
K*T*B*S*P*A 4EVA!!!!!
Submitted by Steph from Philly PA USA
Date: Mon Jul 9 19:09:14 2001
Dearest AJ,
When I first heard this news I thought it was a lie.I tried to turn it away and say it wasnt true.But now I know its true and I know u can get over this! U are a Backstreet Boy and YOU can get through this! I know you can and so do millions of other fanz! We love you AJ and alwayz remember that! You're part of the best band on this earth! If you dont do it for yourself, do it for us the fanz...and the rest of the group. They need you! Without you,Brian,Nick,Kev, or Howie there is no BACKSTREET BOYZ! WE need all of you to be THE BACKSTREET BOYS! If any of you left it wuldnt be a same! Take this letter and all the otherz and use them to help u through this! Know that we love you and are in all of our prayers! If you do,we'll still KTBSPA! WE lvoe you alwayz AJ!Love and prayers,
Steph
Submitted by roo from Canada
Date: Mon Jul 9 19:08:57 2001
Have a healing 28 days, aj.
Submitted by Ashley High from Las Vegas Nevada USA
Date: Mon Jul 9 19:08:48 2001
Hey A.J.
I know that this is a very hard time for you. Me and the millions of other fans know that you have to strength to pull threw this tough time with flying colors. I think that you are a very brave guy to be able to come out and say that you have a problem and with that foundation I know that you are strong enough to pull threw anything. I am one of the millions of people who will be praying every night for you and your health. We all know that you can pull threw any thing baby.
Submitted by Jamie Kunde from Oshkosh Wisconsin USA
Date: Mon Jul 9 19:07:58 2001
AJ~ There is so much I could talk to you about... I understand everything you are going through right now because I have had such things like this happen to me and other I know. You are doing the right thing by saying you do have a problem and you wanting to get help. I am so very proud of you and know you are strong enough to go through with this. I know in the future you will be the same person you were before all this happened you have so much strength! I cant tell you enough how much I love you and care for you...I am so worried about you but in the end I know it will all work out and you should know that too. All of us fans will ALWAYS be here to support you through ANYTHING. So always remember that. I dont care about the concert being postponed I just want you to be healthy and happy again. Well AJ and the rest of BSB if you read this I wish you luck, happiness and I love you guys more than anything!
Submitted by Elizabeth from Iowa USA
Date: Mon Jul 9 19:07:19 2001
Aj,
I know that I and all the other BSB fans are very proud of what you are doing to help yourself. By checking yourself into rehab you are showing true courage and maturity. The most important thing to remember through all this is that the fans, friends, and your family are behind you praying for you and beliving in you. You also believe in youself you showed this when you checked into rehab. You will be in my prayers and I hope that you overcome your current problems. I do not know anyone personally who suffered from depression but I do know someone who suffered from alcoholism he is my uncle. He has gotten help and is now doing just great. Never forget to stop believing in youself but if you falter a step in believing I will be here to back you up... my prayers go out to you God bless!
Submitted by Alicia from Lansing MI USA
Date: Mon Jul 9 19:05:02 2001
I have this to say: As true BSB fans, we stand behind you AJ, no matter what. Through thick and thin. You've been our angel, our inspiration, and now the role is reversed. We are here for you, we love you, we support you. You are an incredibly strong willed person, you can over come this. You will over come this. My heart, prayers, and love goes out to you, Kevin, Nick, Brian, Howie, Denise and to the McLean family and friends.
AJ, there is nothing you can't do. Don't give up- we're standing strong behind you.
Submitted by Judith Faucette from Raleigh NC USA
Date: Mon Jul 9 19:04:59 2001
Aj,
My Backstreet journey began four years ago in 1997 with the release of your first US album. It's hard to imagine what it must have been like for you to go through twice that, all the bad rep, rumours, etc, of being a struggling artist. When your grandma died, I felt sincerely sorry for you, because I knew just how you felt. My grandma, who although I was very young, was very close to me, died when I was five, and now I know she is my guardian angel watching over me. My grandpa also died when i was thirteen. Having someone close pass away is a huge trial, and so I understand why you turned to something like alchohol, as it is a good way (albeit a destructive one) to drown out your problems. However, I am even more proud of you for deciding to face up to your dependence, and your depression, and seek help. Sometimes we can't get through it ourselves. I know I couldn't, and still can't. So I hope you find solace in this escape from the turmoil of your life, however difficult it may be, and recover new direction and hope. Best wishes in your recovery and life.
~Jj
Submitted by Angelaa from Cleveland Ohio USA
Date: Mon Jul 9 19:04:35 2001
A.J.~
When I first heard about this on TRL, I was shocked. But I realize that you did a very brave thing, admitting your problem. I'm just glad your getting help. I love BSB and hope every thing will work out fine. My best wishes to you and the group. Luv ya all!!!
XOXO ~Angela
Submitted by Michelle F. from norwood new jersey USA
Date: Mon Jul 9 19:04:25 2001
Hi!AJ,
I heard about the news,I'm so proud of you for admitting that you have a problem, your half-way there. My prayers are out to you and your family. Please find strength in knowing that you are not alone.My grandmother went through the same problem and found the strength to stay clean for eight years.When I also heard about you guys postponned the tour dates I was disapointed that the Monday concert at the Continental Airlines Arena was cancelled but it wouldn't be complete without you.I just want you to get better and we will see you when you are ready and well.God bless You and take care.
Love, Michelle
Submitted by Virginia Repsys from North Bergen New Jersey USA
Date: Mon Jul 9 19:04:11 2001
Dear Alex, If you're reading this, I just want to let you know some things about what happened today, and that I'm meaning every single word I type here with all my heart and soul. So please understand, that I'm writting this not only to make you smile, but to let you know I care..with all my heart. See, my best friend called me up, asking if you guys were gonna be in TRL today. I didn't know a thing, until I turned on my TV and heard Carson saying Bsb were going to be there. I kept talking to her, but then she put me on hold cuz she had another call. When she came back, she was almost crying, saying one of you guys was in the hospital. My heart started beating so quick and tears were building in my eyes, as I wondered who it was...But then, when Bsb appeared on TRL and you weren't there, it hit me hard...like a thousand knives just cutting deep into me. I started crying so badly, just hearing what Kevin was saying, and just seeing how sad and worried they all looked. My heart broke into pieces as Kev kept explaining, holding back tears. When the clip of your song came up and you were just singing there, like if you really didn't know anything about what the song was about...I cried even more, because it broke my heart on hearing such deep words, written by such a man, all of us thought was more than happy with his life. I thought your depression was gone, hunny, but now I only see I was very wrong, and regret for thinking such things. See, I'm crying right now, just typing you this, because even though I've never met you or any of the fellas, I've developed such love and respect for you guys, that sometimes, I really don't believe. A love that has kept me trully alive and has helped me through many of my hard times (I really mean this..You're music is so strong and deep, it can heal millions..) It's so sad to hear this, something so awful happening to such a wonderful man who deserves so much love. Sweetie, just know that I'm with you every step of the way, as so are millions of fans around the world. That we're not asking for you to get back on Tour right on September...if you're totally happy with yourself by then, then g'head, we will welcome you with warm, open arms. We will keep showing you our love, because that's what we have for you, LOVE and most of all, respect (Even though some of might not show it, by invading your private lives). That we are only wanting for you to get better and we want you to take all the time YOU need, to get better. That if this single month you're in rehab doesn't work, then fine, take another month or 2 or 3, as many as YOU need, but just make sure you're BETTER not worst. AJ, we care about, I care about you and we all love you so much, even though most of us have never met you. That I'm so proud of how strong you are on asking the guys to say this on TV. That I'm so proud that you are a strong and brave man, and yes you are, so keep that in mind, ok? Sweetie, just take all your time. Get better, feel better for yourself and don't rush things, because you're just going to get yourself into even worst stuff. Remember that I'm going to pray for you every night and that I'm going to ask God to stay by your side forever, and that I hope you're family and friends help you get through this too, because that's what I'm trying to do, help you. Please know always that I trully love and care about you. That my prayers will always be with you. That there's millions of fan out here that only want the best for you, and that YOU ARE NOT ALONE (ever)...I will miss you dearly, sweetie. I will love you always. And I want to be sorry for many things us fans have done to invade your privacy, we didn't mean to. I love you Sweets. Take care, feel better and get better, and my prayers and love will always surround you, no matter how far you may be ::hug::
Love always and forever,
Virginia R.
P.S.--I hope some day I get to meet you, so I can give you the biggest hug and congratulate you on how brave you have been. I love you and Keep the Backstreet Pride Alive 4-ever! Bye sweetie. And please, get better.
Submitted by Christi from Hicksvilee NY USA
Date: Mon Jul 9 19:04:10 2001
AJ, what can I say that hasn't already been said? I can tell you that your fans are behind you 110% I can tell you that we all want to see you get better and that we are all praying for you. I can also tell you that we all love you and can't wait to see you again. But what I really want to say is thank you. Your music has helped me through some difficult times in my life as well as I'm sure other fans. I can only hope that maybe now our prayers can help you through this difficult time. I am also saying Thank You for showing your fans the right thing to do. It takes a very brave and courageous man to say "I need help." "The best gift you can give is yourself" AJ, we know that in every performance you give your fans, you are giving us your everything. Now the best gift you could give us is your safe health and return. God bless you.~Christi
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