The Essential David Letterman

Back - Index - Submissions - - What is RSS? Date: Oct 22, 2099 Source: The Las Angeles Times Submitted By: and Ruby Chiu for sending this in. LAUGH LINES from LA TIMES Top Ways the World Would Be Different if It Were Owned by MTV 10. President opens State of Union by giving "shout out to Wu-Tang." 9. Instead of the presidents, schoolkids must learn the lead singers of Van Halen. 8. Biggest complaint about the government: "It never shows videos anymore." 7. George W. Bush refuses to answer whether he's ever "gotten jiggy wit' it." 6. So long, Washington Monument; hello, Tommy Lee Monument. 5. "Great Depression" refers to period between Backstreet Boys albums. 4. New national anthem would contain samples of other countries' national anthems. 3. Instead of death penalty, prisoners forced to watch Britney Spears videos in heavy rotation. 2. National health plan to treat males suffering from Limp Bizkit. 1. First Lady Marilyn Manson. Comment on this item. Next Item: Opinions, Opinions, Opinions Prev Item: Fairway to Heaven