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DECONSTRUCTING HOTTIE (Spin Magazine, January '99)
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Date: Jan 31, 2099
by Jonathan Bernstein, SPIN January 1999 DECONSTRUCTING HOTTIE SPIN'S ALL-TEEN TRIBUNAL PICKS APART THE YEAR'S HUNKIEST BOY BANDS Pop domination suffered no let-up in 1998. Fresh faces achieved saturation success so fast they all but eclipsed one another. Just when we got used to thinking of Nick Carter as the meanest but most moistness-inducing Backstreet Boy, he's edged out by 'N Sync's younger, blonder, more amenable Justin Timberlake. Boasting more intricate choreography, fewer goofy members, and an almost heroically sappy ballad in "God Must Have Spent a Little More Time With You," 'N Sync started the year as Backstreet Kid Brothers and ended it by turning them into yesterday's men. "Kids have short attention spans," says Teen People's Lori Majewski. "Their sneakers are barely worn out before they're buying another pair; it's the same with bands." Now 'N Sync have to contend with the looming threat of 5 -- those Brit boys who sing about phone sex, sample Joan Jett, and don't give shoutouts to the Man Upstairs. Girl-group activity was less widespread. The Spice Girls fell victim to a preemptive strike by U.S. radio and TV, who nonetheless laid out a cautious welcome mat for All Saints and Cleopatra. But teen divas were pop's big growth industry. Just behind Brandy and Monica were Aaliyah, with the year's most scintillating single, "Are You That Somebody?"; Mya; Fresh Prince graduate Tatyana Ali; and Missy protégée Nicole. By contrast, Usher had the field to himself. As for Australia's prime cultural exports, Natalie Imbruglia was a beneficiary of the Alanis vacuum (now filled), and the simpering Savage Garden maintained their homeland's consistency in producing an irritant every decade. Somewhere the ghost of Air Supply is at rest, content its bloodline continues. Will any of these tykes be around next year? After all, 1998 was the year we learned to ask the question, "Didn't you used to be Jimmy Ray?" The scene: A lavishly catered summit of today's most discerning teens. The task: Explain the fine points of "N Sync, the Backstreet Boys, and Boyzone. Victoria DeSilverio 'N SYNCERS Christina Ambrose, 13 Kerry Dubuss, 14 Tiffany Orlando, 14 Tasha Moreno, 14 Jonas Silva, 14 Selena Hermkes, 14 Danielle Mokello, 14 Robert Dubuss, 12 BACKSTREET GIRLS Prima Donna La Rosa, 17 Mary Caputo, 17 Krystal Van Bever, 12 Trisha Shegryn, 13 Karissa Mollicone, 12 Noeile Natoli, 12 Kira Illa Hohefaard, 17 Torn Between Five Lovers Mary: Nooooooo! It's impossible to pick one favorite member! We can't! No way! Selena: You can't compare them. In some ways they're the same style, but in some ways they have different styles. Prima: It's just not right. Trisha: Can we at least pick two? Why There Always Seems to Be "The Wacky One" Mary: It depends how the other members are. If one guy is really, really wacky, and all the rest are quiet, then of course you need that wacky guy. But if all the rest are just kinda wacky, you don't really need him. Selena: There's no pressure to have a wacky guy. It's just the way they express themselves naturally. Trisha: Like A.J. [Backstreet], he fits his wackiness. People say Chris ['N Sync] is biting off A.J. Kira: The wacky guy Shane [Boyzone] is an A.J. wannabe. Jonas: Only because the Backstreet Boys were out before. Mary: I mean A.J. didn't invent goggles, but he started the trend, like, in '95, and then everybody just sorta copied off him. Hair Olympics: Nick Backstreet vs. Ronan Boyzone Mary: Nick has two different sides of hair. He has a mushroom cut, and then he has it gelled back. But it looks good with his face structure. Kira: Ronan's hair has no volume. He doesn't know how to style it. Selena: It's grungy. Mary: He can't afford a professional stylist. Prima: Yeah. At least the Backstreets can go to Frederick Fekkai. Trisha: I thought that it was messed up when Nick used to put gel in his hair. Why did he do that? Christina: The best is when it's all slicked back and there's this piece of dry hair that hangs down in front. Aaron Carter, Nick's Ten-Year-Old Brother: Pros and Cons Noelle: Aaron's the bomb. He's so cute and nice! Jonas: The only reason he's so popular is because of his brother, Nick. Prima: You can't say that. He started on his own. How do you know that? You don't know anything like that. Jonas: I'm not saying he can't dance or sing. I'm just saying people wouldn't care about him if Nick Carter wasn't his brother. Kira: How do you know that? You don't know that. You just don't know that. Jonas: He wouldn't be opening up for the Backstreet Boys if--Kira: Don't make me come over there. Boyzone Should Be Stopped at the Border Kerry: They look so old. Danielle: It's like they look 25. Christina: They're not going to make it far. Karissa: Too preppy. Krystal: They don't belong in our country. Getting All Googly-Eyed Noelle: Goggles are so cool. Trisha: Especially when they put 'em on their thighs at the concert. Regular glasses are cool too. Only if they're nonprescription. Tricks Are for Kids Tisha: I went to the Hanson concert--they are so bad! I tried to be all hyper, but I couldn't, because they were too busy playing instruments. Kerry: I don't get them either. Noelle: They're another group that kinda looks dirty. Krystal: I really don't understand why each brother should have the same exact hair. Boy-Band Dilemma #7: Point Forward or Tap Heart? Krystal: Oh, I love it when they tap there heart--tap, tap, tap! Danielle: It makes people feel better about themselves when they do it. Jonas: I mean, it's not like when they point or tap their heart at a girl they are saying, "Hi, Amy, Georgina." It's like, they don't know you. Noelle: But even if they aren't pointing at you it seems like they are. Trisha: I know. Even though you think they're pointing at you, they still don't know you? And it's like, they might not be pointing at you. Tasha: It could be, like, the person behind you. Trisha: At the concert, I had this huge sign, and Nick--he was looking straight at it. And he kept looking at it. And it made me feel so special! So, What's Up With the Chair Dance? Prima: Oh, the chair dance--that is the best. It's so cool. Kira: 'N Sync don't have a chair dance yet. They probably will soon. Jonas: They do, but theirs is so stupid. All they do is go up and down. It's Not the Length, It's the Width Christina: Baggy pants are the best!!! Prima: No, tight--so we can see Nick's butt. Kira: Tight makes 'em look like they're fags. Tasha: It looks really good when they wear baggy pants with tight undershirts. Like when A.J. wears big black pants and a tight white tank top. Kira: Yeah, with the baggy pants, they hang off the hip, showing Tommy boxers. Going Ape--Bad! Tasha: It's cool when they take off their shirts. Tiffany: It depends on what kind of body you have. Prima: Yeah. It has to be as hard as a rock. Selena: Sometimes people do it, and they don't have a nice body, and they try to show it off. And you're like, put your shirt on! Prima: A hairy chest is like--yuck!--it's like, stay away from me. That's where toupees come from. Danielle: So they wax. Kira: Nair. Trisha: I think they shouldn't take off their shirts all the time. Christina: I think they should do it all the time, every single day. Karissa: I think they should just walk out of the house with no shirt on. Earring on the Side of Caution Selena: I like when a guy wears tow in each ear. Kira: Both ears looks good, but with all piercings, I think it depends on--Mary:--the person. A.J., it goes with him, because he's more funky. Jonas: Two earrings are okay. But my mom--she has a problem with it. She told me I couldn't get my left ear pierced because people think it means you're, you know, gay. Selena: It doesn't matter though. Mary: Like when you say someone looks gay, sometimes it means funny or stupid. That's our definition. Kira: Yeah, but gay has nothing to do with this. We're talking about boy groups. Copyright © SPIN: new music and youth culture.
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